Tributes & Eulogies - Yvonne Lee Memorial

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A Celebration of Life: Strength, Grace, and Lasting Kindness

From Karen Lee Lust (Daughter)

Thank you all so much for coming. Today is meant to be a celebration of life - not a time of mourning. She wanted everyone to be happy, because that's who she was; and for someone that was as busy as she was, she just didn't have time for negativity.

My mom touched so many lives just by being herself. She was on the quiet, reserved and shy side, and private about herself, but she was generous in sharing her energy. She cooked meals for her friends (not just the sick ones - the ones that just didn't like cooking). She would drive elderly and sick people to get groceries, or to their medical appointments, and took care of so many people in so many ways in her life - not just her kids. She created family across different chapters of her life, wherever she went, she naturally created community.

                    She didn't consider herself a social butterfly or smooth conversationalist: she always said she's not good with people but I think she's better than she knew: just by being herself, people were drawn to her kindness, her positivity, and her sincerity.
                

She didn't have the easiest or most pampered of lives: moving away from everything she'd ever known at only age 15 to a new country had to be so hard. But the strength, resilience, and ingenuity of an immigrant is not to be underestimated: she tackled each chapter of her life with determination and willingness to grow and learn, even if it was out of her comfort zone.

She was also just so capable. One of those people who were just good at so many different things. The secret wasn't natural talent, it was a desire to learn, and a willingness to try, embracing learning from mistakes, doing research, and consistently putting in the time to practice.

She was a talented musician, playing the piano, harp, guitar, and had a beautiful singing voice. She was a teaching assistant, a computer programmer, a biostatistician, a real estate agent, a house flipper, and day trader. And in her spare time (!!) she was an artist: a potter, a cook, baker of cakes and bread, sewer of clothes, knitter of sweaters and cozy things, and also a determined deal-finder, especially when it came to groceries.

One of my favorite stories of her is a dramatic one: On a winter evening in March 1985, she was late coming home from work. It was kind of my fault, I was 2 then and that morning, she'd taken me to a nursery school visit in the hopes of enrolling me in daycare. Because she started her workday late, it was fully pitch dark by the time she got out of the metro that evening, trying to find her car - when out of nowhere she was violently attacked by a stranger.

She was much smaller than him - under 100 pounds at the time - and still was able to fight him off by using a tiny pair of foldable sewing scissors she had on a keychain in her pocket. (Isn't there a beautiful justice there, that a women's crafting tool was what brought him down?) She was able to get away, and an off duty policeman nearby heard the alert and caught the guy.

                    This whole story was an example of how strong she is, how amazing her work ethic is, and how far her positivity and can-do attitude took her, even from difficult and negative circumstances. She is truly someone who would take lemons and make lemonade - and then share it with everyone.
                

She looked into an uncompromising future and still chose her own fate, defined the time and the means of her passing, and made it beautiful and as joyous as possible. Her illness was just an example of how she met obstacles in her path head-on, and dealt with everything life handed her with inner strength.

When I miss her, I will dig within myself to find her - to be fiercely independent with a can-do, will-help attitude. I get that from her, as well as my belief that, even through the toughest of circumstances, applying ingenuity, positivity, and perseverance will see us through.

She wasn't formally religious, but believed in a higher power, and the power of those that came before us to watch over and protect us. She used to call them the fairies in her life, and credit so many good things that happened to her and us to them. Towards the end of her life, she told me: I won't really be gone: I'll be everywhere.

                    Ma was humble, and never liked to ask for anything. So I will, on her behalf: every day, show kindness, be grateful, find your own happiness, and then share it.
                

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A Legacy of Love: Remembering Yvonne

From Winnie Kwok (Sister)

I'm Winnie, the youngest of Yvonne's four siblings. I'm Yvonne's baby sister, and she is my dai gah dzeh, my big sister. I am attending Yvonne's memorial service from Vancouver, Canada, where all three of Yvonne's sisters live.

As a young child, I remember Yvonne visiting us in Canada during her breaks from attending school in the U.S.. She also baked beautiful Christmas cookies and mailed them to us. My favourites were the ones that were shaped like reindeer.

When Yvonne lived in the Boston area and worked at a fabric store, she made matching clothing for me and my sister Sylvia. She also made cute stuffed animals for us that we played with for years.

When baby Katherine was old enough to eat solid foods, Yvonne made home-made baby food. She puréed broccoli and carrots and put the purée into ice cube trays to freeze. When meal time came around, she would heat up a cube of broccoli and a cube of carrot as part of a meal.

                    During visits to Vancouver, she turned our mother's kitchen into a zong-making factory, and churned out so much zong that all of our fridges and freezers were stuffed with a supply of delicious zong that lasted for months, or even years.
                

Yvonne and I are 13 years apart in age and our personalities are quite different, but we do have some things in common. One of these things is music. Both Yvonne and I love Chopin. Yvonne could play advanced pieces very well, including Chopin études and polonaises. Both of us love Chopin. Yvonne and I also shared a love for Josh Groban's blend of pop and classical music.

Her children were taking turns driving their mother to medical appointments, managing her medications and home care schedule, helping with her with daily tasks, making sure she was in a comfortable position, and taking turns accompanying her during the day and overnight. They collaborated very well while managing a busy schedule.

                    Even though they were sad to watch their mother's health deteriorate, they kept a brave face, and surrounded Yvonne with so much love and affection that it was like Yvonne was wrapped in an impenetrable aura of love.
                

Thank you so much to Katherine, Karen, Michael and David for caring for your mother in such a compassionate and loving way. I wish for peace, love and good health for all of you as you grieve the loss of your mother.

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My Big Twin

From Sylvia (Sister)

Yvonne was also my Dai Ga Dze, I'm Sylvia, the 4th born of 5 siblings and Yvonne was and will always be my Big Twin. Although we were separated by 10 years in age and by many more miles in between, we shared similar facial features, food preferences, colour preferences, affinity for textiles and sewing, and similar physiologies.

Yvonne loved her children fiercely and dedicated her life to helping them be their best selves. Even before they were old enough for preschool, Yvonne taught her kids how to read simple words using phonics and taught them simple arithmetic.

                    Yvonne had read that in a multilingual family, children should learn their numbers using the language of their intended academic training, so while she taught her kids Cantonese, their reference to numbers were primarily in English. How right she was.
                

This was indicative of the level of dedication she applied to ensuring that her kids had the best opportunity possible to excel in whatever they chose to do in life. No opportunity for learning was ever lost, and Yvonne carried that principle throughout her own life, constantly acquiring new skills even into her last years.

Yvonne was also a fantastic cook, we always enjoyed the times when she visited Vancouver and took command of the kitchen. Our Ma would sometimes complain that each time Yvonne left, Ma couldn't find her cooking utensils as Yvonne had stored them in a different drawer or cupboard, but we sure appreciated her joy of food and joy in feeding others.

For herself, Yvonne was fiercely independent and driven by a survival instinct. For others, she was kind, trusting, generous, and always ready to help. In life, I will strive to be more like my Dai Ga Dze. We miss you and love you.

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Childhood Memories from Hong Kong

From Charlene Li (Friend)

I first met Ching-Yue when I was 12 years old and my family went to Hong Kong to visit family. Ching-Yue's father was my father's younger brother. We all slept in one big bedroom we called the dormitory. Yvonne and I got along wonderfully.

Our conversations would be me speaking English and she speaking Cantonese. Our parents thought it was very funny. I remember that we both likes to sing and for some reason we got stuck on the Intermezzo from Cavalleria Rusticana and we would sing it all the time.

                    I also remember that she had silk worms as "pets." She had I made origami boxes for them for home and gave each box an apartment building name.
                

I was living in Syracuse, New York when Yvonne came to live with my family while she went to high school (Pebble Hill). She did very well at school and played the piano. My Mom and Dad were very involved with the Chinese students at Syracuse University, so when they had a variety show called "China Night" they asked Yvonne if she would play the piano. She played a piece called "Buffalo Boy" that fit the night perfectly.

I remember that she would bring rice and meat stuffed and steamed in leaves. My parents loved it when she did that. My Mom used to say that they took too much effort and that she enjoyed eating Yvonne's the best anyway.

I am sorry that she and I did not stay in touch. I would send her a holiday newsletter every year and she would write an email back. I know that she will be missed.

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The Smartest and Most Generous

From Carina Short (Sister-in-law)

Your mom was the smartest person I know...she could pick up any discipline or skill and excelled in it, be it piano playing, mathematics, computer science, real estate brokerage, public health, cooking, sewing, parenting and I am sure many other skills that I have not mentioned.

                    I remember when I was heavily pregnant with Adrienne the winter of 84, she dragged the whole family from Maryland to Boston (an 8 hour drive) to cook meals for my family. She organized the dozens of delicious meals and had them frozen for us to be used at my time of confinement. Such a generous gift for which I am forever grateful!
                

It is my loss that in later years we were separated by distance and circumstances and I was not aware of her devastating illness. I am so gratified that she was surrounded by a loving family towards the end.

You children and grandchildren and the extended family should be proud that you gave her the gift of love and serenity. Ian and Adrienne join me in sending you heartfelt condolences and love.